Friday, November 27, 2009

come rain, come baby

rain has become a regular guest, as seems to be the norm here in the pacific northwest this time of the year. the other day, as i was walking with namaali (our 100lb malamute mix), the wind blew fallen leaves and the rain fell lightly...and it was so beautiful...and i thought to myself "what a perfect day to welcome our little one". of course, our 'little one' didn't feel the same, as he still sits in my womb as i type this...and, that's ok. what's nice though, is that i thought about having a baby during this season, and about how right that feels... to be locked away in our warm, dry little nest getting to know each other as a new family....ahh..the thought of that is so wonderful. baked food and warm candles, blankets, snuggling, staying close...and having the *best* reason to not go out into the cold rain. and, i feel lucky that we found this home (we just moved here in august)...a great home to welcome our babe.. tucked away in the corner of a quiet neighborhood...secluded, yet still in the city... landlords who support our choices - just this morning they stopped over with a gift for the baby - an organic sleeper set ... so sweet....
we feel blessed

today i am only 6 days from my due date. i have been sending my thoughts and words to my babe, telling him we are ready for him - whenever he is ready to come. so far, it seems he is more than happy to chill where he is. i'm not feeling pushy - in fact, i'm enjoying these last few days feeling this amazing closeness to my baby. taking in each moment...the little kicks and movements, my own embrace of my belly like it's never been before, the anticipation of labor...of seizing this new, extraordinary experience...and then, becoming a mother. i'm relishing these last days - as 'jennifer' - before adorning myself with the title 'mama' - of alone time, of quiet time with febri..just us, ....looking forward to the coming experience, but resisting the feeling of want to kick start the inevitable process.

we will wait, and breathe, and give thanks. and one day, very soon...maybe with the rain...will come our special gift - and we will rejoice...and love..and a new journey will begin.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

the waiting game

38 weeks today. Woohoo!

For the last 3 weeks, we have been preparing for the arrival of this baby "any day now" (as we've been telling people when asked). At this point, officially 9 1/2 months into pregnancy, I'm finally feeling ready to meet this little person we're bringing into the world. I have to say, Mother Nature planned human gestation just couples months to accept and fully acknowledge the "pregnancy" part of things..and become comfortable with the idea...only to then realize that it's just a few weeks (what!?) before a baby - an actual live baby - is here. Any longer though, and the amazing woman - in all her capacity of carrying this growing child - would be completely burnt out on the whole "pregnancy" thing. And, once you've accepted the "baby is coming any day now", it really does become like christmas eve as a child...feeling you just can't wait to open the gifts...stealing peaks, or shaking the presents when no one is watching.
And that's what it's like...not for us, per say - but I do think of all the mama's and papa's to be who get one more ultrasound (taking a peek), and mama's who repeatedly have their cervix checked (shaking the box perhaps??)... The persistent wonder of how far along we are...are we making progress...the big question, and it's million dollar answer - "when will this baby be here?"... Who can blame parents to be - what bigger gift in life than the arrival of your baby?

I'm happy that Febri and I have chosen such a natural journey through pregnancy. I feel it's made things easier along the way - it's certainly narrowed down choices and expenses, and I think it's kept our focus on the baby and our trust in the process. And it's been a really beautiful experience..and the best part is yet to come!

Over the last 3 weeks, we've prepared the house for birth..making many so called "last" runs to the store before baby - to pick up supplies we forgot on the previous "last" trip. We're feeling set now - with birthing pool, receiving blankets, mood lighting, and birth blanket - among other countless supplies. We sewed some beautiful fabric to wrap the placenta in in the days following the birth, until the baby and placenta naturally separate from each other. We even made a play-list for the labor..and walked through a labor "fire-drill" - so Febri could feel more comfortable when the real thing happens. We completed the belly cast - which is still drying, but has so far turned out beautifully. And we, thank goodness, adore our maternity photos - including the one above...

We're ready little one...and now, we've begun to play the waiting game.