our bundle of joy - 1 month already!

in 5 days, luna will be 1 month old.

fastest month of my life. the days all blur together into one really long one....and the beauty of all the moments shared with the man i love and the baby we created fill me up. it's still hard to believe i'm a mama..and yet, as i sit here typing this with luna fast asleep on my chest, it's hard to imagine life any other way.

she has already changed so much in the 26 days of her little life. physically, luna's hair is turning lighter (and more plentiful), as her skin turns darker. she is putting on weight like a champ, she has already outgrown some of her newborn clothes! i feel so good about our relationship to breast-feeding...it has come quite naturally to us (and i know that's not always the case). and, i'm relieved that the once daunting task of cutting tiny little fingernails is a breeze, because they grow SO FAST!

we've also seen loads of developmental growth:

luna tracks objects with her eyes.
she has started to coo..... so cute!
she responds to voices by turning her head in that direction
she's making lots of new expressions - which makes us laugh!
and, luna definitely shows a preference for music - she really loves it!

we had a little battle with what we were afraid was colic for about a week - but it seems to have gone away completely...thank goodness! and, for the last two days, luna has decided she likes to sleep at night, and stay awake more during the day!! we can only hope this trend continues...

oh, she is so beautiful, our little moon child. it's hard to believe that luna can get any cuter, or make us any happier...yet, every day she does just that.

beautiful luna

well...she didn't come with the rain, but she did come with a cold wind (brrrr...20 degrees is cold for portland). it carried her right into our waiting arms, and we feel so blessed!

december 5, 2009 we welcomed our baby GIRL into our world. there were many beautiful experiences and discoveries that day, and in the days following, and having a daughter (and not a son, like we expected) was just one of them. and it feels wonderful and true. we have a daughter..we are mama and papa....we can't stop looking at her and holding her and kissing her...and feeling like the luckiest people on the planet....totally blissed out.

and that wind that accompanied her...well, we've been able to avoid it and the cold (and the predicted ice storm today)....and snuggle inside, in bed, the three of us...together...love...the way it should be. so blessed.

we named her on the third day after her birth. her name is luna. it is so fitting, she embodies that energy that i feel with the moon...she is a special being...i feel that. we are so proud. we are so happy. we are so in love. and, yes, so blessed.

today she is 1 week old...the time has flown by - but the stillness remains...and we are taking it in and enjoying it. soon i will share our birth story...for today i will simply share our happiness and our luna.

the wait continues.....or does it?

so, i think i can safely say things are interesting....maybe this is a sign of impending labor?? ah, one can only hope.

last night i got a headache. i don't get headaches...ever. but, last night i got one while laying in bed. it was uncomfortable..but i was exhausted - and i fell asleep...i did wake to painful contractions a few times - but i fell right back asleep after each one. now it's 4:30pm....guess what? i have a headache again. what is this, if not related to the pregnancy? perhaps my blood pressure is up? i know many women experience a rise in BP when labor is starting... then again, more probable, and what i'm more inclined to believe, is that it's just a headache.. nothing more.

i'm waiting for a friend to come over now. she is going to give me my first official induction via acupuncture. i would do it myself, but the points are hard to reach - and the treatment is not really effective unless i use those points. so, we'll see what happens. i have to say, i'm really torn over this. i give induction treatments to women in my clinic all the time - always telling them (and i fully believe this) that it won't work unless the baby is ready to come - although, i must say, my success rate is enormously high. with that said, when it comes to myself, i hesitate in inducing. i feel i am somehow gypping my baby out of his right to precious time in my womb...even though i believe the treatment will not have any effect on me or the babe unless the time is right for both of us. still....
another part of me is ready to get this show on the road. it's getting more difficult to cope in this undefined space...not quite a mother...not quite my old self...just waiting for the next chapter. if this little one is ready, and just needs a nudge, i think it's time to give him one. we may all be better for it. then again, if this nudge fails to progress labor, my babe will be free to bake in my womb a bit longer..and, i'll leave his delivery date up to him (within reason, of course).

the house we are renting was recently put on the market. tomorrow the landlords are coming by to show the place - so febri, myself and our pooch are heading out for a morning walk and most likely a cup of coffee. originally we thought we may be moving out of the country before the house sells...however, those plans have been put on hold. then, we thought it would be months before any real interest in the house was shown...last week..that's when it went on the market - 1 week, and already someone interested enough to view the basement apartment (which we rent). we are becoming more aware that we may be forced to move in less than two months...with a newborn...ayeeeee! also, we have the added difficulty of finding a rental that accepts large dogs, and that will provide us with a short-term lease (which permits us to leave the country should our plans change). whew.... i keep telling myself to focus on one thing at a time...and, first thing's first - let's have this baby!

casting

here are photos of the belly cast - for those of you interested. we are still going to gesso (to make it a little stronger), and put a finish on it. not sure what yet...
anyway, we think it makes a lovely fruit bowl...

still waiting...

so, the big "due date" is tomorrow. throughout this entire pregnancy, i've been content to only use that date as an estimate...give or take a couple weeks....however, now that we're so close, it's hard to not give it more credit. and, as the days go by, it gets harder and harder to patiently wait. my mom had both my brother and i on our due dates. maybe its genetic... :)
however - it's now 9:30pm, and it's been a while since i've felt a contraction...so, it doesn't look promising...but, you never know what could happen overnight....

over the last week, we've had 3 false alarms..each one growing in intensity. the latest was 2 nights ago when contractions - actual painful contractions - woke me from sleep and continued as i tossed and turned - unable to get comfortable as each one jolted me... i considered this time it might actually be the start of labor - and, if so, i should at least try to sleep a bit (it was only 2am). so, i eventually fell asleep - only to awake later to mere mild tightenings...
we saw the midwife yesterday - she informed us that "there are usually about 3 false labors before the real thing in first time moms"... so, the next one must be it! :)
the good in these false alarms is that they've allowed us to become more prepared for the real deal. for example - we discovered we are unable to adjust the water heater...bummer! we had planned to turn the heat all the way up to make filling the birthing pool more effective. however, now we've changed plans and we've been gathering large pots in order to boil water on the stove. this may be a little more spotty when the big day comes, but...at least we're prepared!

last week we were at the market picking up a few things. a lady kept popping up in the isle beside me smiling. hmmm....ok.......
finally she commented on how great i look.
thanks.
"really", she insisted, "you look great"...
i thanked her again and proceeded with my shopping....
she continued: "you'll do wonderful"..."don't worry, when you think you can't, just remember the long line of women you're following, and you'll pull through".... "it will be so beautiful, ....is this your first?"
yes, i say.
she went on to inform me that she *used* to be a homebirth midwife...and then told me a few more times how great i am, and how great it will be....
whew!
both appreciative of her kind words and wanting to run and hide, i searched the store for febri - he always misses these things!

it's funny what people say to pregnant women. i've had quite a few interesting conversations with people who would probably have never spoken to me had my belly not been protruding so far from the rest of me. luckily, my interactions with the public have not included those who like to handle the bump... that would NOT be ok. i feel for all the women who go through those unfortunate experiences.
a little while ago, i was downtown sitting on a park bench, waiting for febri. an old mexican woman came and sat beside me. after a little bit, she commented on the fact that i was pregnant. yes.... she went on the tell me that i would deliver the baby "tomorrow"... she knew this because she had mothered 7 children, and apparently, that had given her the gift of predicting birth-dates. after sharing this pearl of wisdom, she excused herself, and continued on her way.... hmmm...

so here i sit, with tomorrow looming over me....anxious... what will the next 24 hours bring??