Meet Elan

Elan Surjana - Lotus born 8/20/12 10:07am

being still (well, as still as possible with a 2 year old) as a family this past week has given me many moments to reflect on our journey up to now.  i find myself remembering all the difficulties we've encountered, and then the balance the blessings have brought.  this sweet baby boy, our little Elan is definitely a blessing.  coming at a time of great struggle for us in other areas of our lives, Elan has reminded us of the importance of love.  life can get so stressful, and hectic, and filled with clutter, that it's easy to forget what we're living for.  LOVE.  our family... these special moments that make everything else disappear.  in the days since Elan's birth, i find myself looking at Febri and being filled with emotion - i love this man so much... an incredible partner, and an amazing father.  and Luna... what can i say?... i'm so proud and so in awe of the person she's becoming, and so honored to be her mama.  and now, this new little babe - and already he's filled my heart when i thought it was already overflowing.

we are so happy to be on the other side of this pregnancy.  to have reached this mile marker on our journey.  and to have been given such a special gift - our prince, Elan.

then there were 2

here he is.......!

the second time around has been such a different experience!  after an amazingly mellow labor at home, our little babe came into our world on August 15, 2012 at 12:11 pm.  he weighed slightly less than Luna - just 7lbs 4oz, and he announced his arrival with a wail.  Luna sang the ABC's while I pushed him out - with proud Papa rooting us all.  we feel so happy to be on this side of the adventure, and we're soaking in the moments of these first few days....falling in love as a family.

more soon.

 

Moving On

I'm sitting here, in an almost empty house, on a rare quiet morning (Luna is actually sleeping in (!) with Febri)... and it's all hitting me.  It will be hard to say goodbye to this house.  This weekend we're moving, and while I'm so excited about what we gain, I'm feeling emotional about what we lose.  I laid in bed this morning watching the filtered sunlight stream through the curtains and fill the room with a golden glow...it's soooo beautiful... and I remembered when Febri and I painted that room, and then I thought about how perfect the wall color is with the curtains - and how peaceful it is to sleep there with my family.  And, I know we can paint another room and make it just as lovely, but it's the energy that's here... and the memories.  We've only been in this house a year and a half, maybe it's being a parent... I don't know.  Luna was just a babe when we moved in - barely a year old.  We didn't have furniture for months, and then we carefully selected each piece to fit the narrow rooms and match the character of these walls that house us.  Luna has said over and over during this process that she doesn't want to move, that she loves this home.  This is the only home she's ever *really known... she's learned so much under this roof.... ah, again - the memories.

Our new home is awesome.  We have an amazing yard - overgrown with an array of plants and flowers - which means we have some work ahead of us, but also a magical world to discover - Luna's already met ladybugs, caterpillars, birds, and squirrels in passing... and we're just blocks from a marshy wildlife preserve... and I'm thrilled that Luna will get to know nature this way.  We also have a fireplace - which takes me back to life with Febri before babies - a home we had where we loved lazing in front of the warm fire on rainy winter nights in PDX... and we're looking forward to that warmth again.    We have a dedicated play room, an office, a sewing room (yay!)... more space to LIVE and LOVE and BE.

It's bittersweet.

journaling 9 weeks

I don't journal anymore..... I don't keep up with the blog much either.  I was thinking about this the other day, and realized that the last time I was making regular journal entries was when Luna was just a few months old.  Guess things have just gotten away from me.  But I'm glad I kept a journal regularly (up until then) because I can look back on it now and compare what I'm feeling now to what I was feeling then.  "Then" being 9 weeks pregnant with Luna.  YEP - I'm nine weeks pregnant!  As if we don't have enough going on right now, we're adding a pregnancy to the list.  And, for those of you who have been pregnant before, you can probably relate to 1st trimester fatigue, and maybe even nausea.  I've had both - and they've made it challenging to keep up with my full plate.... a plate that includes midwifery school, a busy Chinese medicine practice, the opening of a new (private practice) clinic and all that that entails, entertaining a two year old who has learned the wonder of asking "why?", and supporting a very-busy-with-his-own-crazy-life-stuff partner ("crazy-life-stuff" including but not limited to school, work, and kid.... and taking care of his pregnant partner).  Whew - and why don't I journal anymore?

So I've decided that while I'm certainly busy.... and I am busy, I want to be able to look back on this amazing time some day in the future, and remember what it was like - through my words.  Journaling is great in so many ways... it allows release, and it holds a place in time.........
I'm not one to make new year's resolutions, but I have resolved to journal again and to capture these fleeting moments so I can one day look back and smile.

I hope the new year brings many blessings and smiles to all of you!